This is me, to be honest.
Sigh…me too. lol
"And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world."
— Revelation 12:9
Had to bring this back cause it cracks me up so much XD ROFL
by Kyle Cabral
They played in the morning,
and napped for an afternoon.
Then, they fell in love at dusk,
and walked together until midnight.
So here we go! Genesis 2!
So, I think I remember reading in one of my religious classes that one of the traditional/habits of the Old Testament authors to recite things chapter after chapter things that they already wrote down. I guess it’s like what tv shows do before a new episode (Previously on Once Upon a Time:…). So we start off with God blessing the seventh day, as well as making the plants grows not by means of rain, but by streams brought out from the earth.
Then it jumps into the literal creation of man. This is probably the craziest part of Creation for me…God just took a bunch of dirt and made Adam. I mean, wow. We’re made of dirt. If anyone has got pride issues, and needs to take another look, just read Genesis 2:7. We’re made from dirt….yyeeeaaa.
But then we get something awesome to counterbalance that humbling physicality: the breathe of God! God breathes into us and brings us to life! Wow.
Another thing I find fascinating is the geological locations within the Bible. Like how the author knew exactly what was meant when it states, “The Lord made a garden in a place called Eden, which was in the east, and he put the man there.” First off, whoa, did he create Adam and then fly the disorientated guy to another location on Earth?? O.o Poor guy. lol. Second, Eden being the east doesn’t mean much to us nowdays, but I wonder what that meant in regards to whoever was writing Genesis (probably Moses).
Anyways, so then it is described to us that God made this place called Eden very beautiful with cool trees and fruit. But in the middle of this garden, he put two trees: one the Tree of Life, the other the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
This I find interesting. Because it specifies that the tree of life was…well, the tree of life. What was the purpose of this tree? God didn’t make us out of it…and we didn’t need life, cause He breathe into us. Was it for if we died or something? But we didn’t know death…hmm. Interesting. I’ve never noticed that before. I mean, it serves a kind of anti-purpose for later, cause He banishes us from the garden so we can’t EAT that tree, and be immortal in sin and suffering. But why was it there before the fall…If anyone has any ideas on this, let me know. I’m curious haha.
Anyways, so there’s the two trees. God explains then to Adam NOT to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. He warns him that if he does, he will surely die. I’m going to assume that Adam knows what death is. God wouldn’t tell him not to eat of something that would kill him, and leave out the detail of what it means to die.
After this instruction/warning, God states that Adam should not be alone, and decides He must make the man a partner. Funny enough, at this point, God brings all the animals before Adam so he can name them. I think it should be noted that God was not trying to get Adam to partner with the animals (really guys…). Rather, he was reinforcing the concept that Adam indeed desired a partner. This wasn’t just a concept from God, but rather, Adam looked at the animals while he was naming them and probably kept noticing how they all had mates to keep them company and to bond with. This probably made him lonely. Perhaps further it was to get Adam to realize that God is looking out for him, and realizes his desires even before the man himself realizes them!
So God then makes women: out of man’s ribs. That I can’t figure out. So if anyone has any thoughts on why God made women out of man’s ribs, shoot me a message. Maybe only God knows His reasons. lol.
Anyways, God presents Eve to Adam, and Adam gets REALLY excited. lol. It states he exclaims: “Here is someone like me! She is part of my body, my own flesh and bones. She came from me, a man. So I will name her woman!” This would indeed be exciting for Adam. He’s spent most likely A VERY LONG TIME (in order to name ALL OF THE ANIMALS) in the garden, ALONE. I’d be going crazy from being so alone at that point in time. So I bet he was excited to have someone to bond with, to love on, to be loved by, etc.
So after this, the Bible states that this is why a man will leave his father and mother: to marry a woman, so that the two may become like one person.
Then the Bible makes it a point to state that although they were both naked, they were not ashamed. This has always confounded me. It’s not like they couldn’t see their own bodies. Perhaps they just didn’t see the harm in being naked? (lust and infidelity wasn’t a problem at this point, so there truly wasn’t anything harmful about it). Later though, they become ‘aware’ of it and cover up. I guess it’s just hard for me to wrap my mind around a state of mind I will never know in this life: being unashamed when naked in front of others.
Well, that was fun! Thanks for joining me in this adventure, and I hope you take some time to talk to God after reading this. I bet he gets excited when we read about Him and His story. Remember that He loves you, and that will never change. :D
My parents say my identity and purpose is found in God.
My boyfriend say we were put here to live life happily and to be happy with others.
My God tells me I”m here to love others as I love myself, to bring Him glory, and to love Him more than anything else.
My mind tells me I’m meant to strive to be as best as I can be, and to push others to do the same
And my heart just doesn’t know what all of that together should look like, and often gets lost in the wandering.
I know that the answer is somewhere stuck between all those realms, in a place similar to the space between pages, like when you can see through a page of words to the other side and can see the next page’s words backwards. I have all the answers, and yet I can’t quite paint the picture. So much has gotten in the way…
Yet, some would argue those very things are just a part of my story. But are they? Is being estranged from your loving, connected family part of my path? Is dating a man who is so different from me meant to be a part of my future? Do I truly have what it takes to be a counselor to broken souls when I am convinced time and time again that we are broken souls in a constant array of repairing and mending?
These are not so much doubts as they are just blunt, honest questions I ask God everyday for reassurance on. I don’t know what my future is supposed to look like. I think my parents had a cookie cutter plan for what it should have been, and I know God for sure had a path for me to follow. What I can’t figure out is if I am going the right direction. Turning out to be gay kind of threw alot off course, mainly with my family. But through my family, I kind of suffered relation-wise with God.
I look at other gay Christian couples and see their growth, their efforts, their ambitions, and their walk with God. Can people see my relationship with God? I don’t think so, and this makes me sad and scared. I think God would be disappointed in that. I want to be that man that strives everyday for His Savior, but I fall short of this everyday. I look at porn, I lie, I judge, I worry, I panic, I complain, I fight with my bf, I yell, I cry…I have so many short-comings. It is hard to feel loved by a God of such magnitude in holiness.
I just need God to try and pick me up again. I need Him to chase me down and hold me for a while, and then I need Him desperately to give me the destiny and identity I was meant to have. I’m weary of this transition period, and I want to move forward in life.
I need my meaning, my Creator, and the answers meant for a wandering soul.